Car #6: Nov. 1996 - Apr. 1997
1992 Mistubishi 3000GT VR4

I WILL BANKRUPT YOU


So I got my cushy animating job back. Time for another hot rod, right? Sure. I saw this 5-speed twin-turbocharged 350-horsepower monster and I swear to Christ, my hair told me to buy it. Mm... sexy leather... front and rear spoilers that electronically rotated into position when you took it up to 150MPH on abandoned Vermont highway stretches. Premium sound system for blasting Dream Theater and Pantera CDs. Sunroof to make my hair even frizzier.

Actually, I never really got to use the sunroof, because I only owned this car for six months, all of them cold ones. I got run off the road by a Saab who for some reason wouldn't let me cut him off! The nerve! I spun out 53 times into a ravine, got impaled by a "LEFT LANE ENDS" road sign en route, and smashed the rear end into a guardrail. Naturally, the auto body shop owner surveyed the damage and said something to the effect of, "I can fix it. I've got this ultimate set of tools."

I was very upset, thinking surely it would be totalled instead, and I'd be miraculously spared having to keep making $500 car payments for another 54 months that I knew damn well I couldn't afford even as I signed the papers. Nope. The GT was now a badly over-sprayed creak-bucket, and I ended up trading it in for cheap-ass Car #7 which regardless made my financial problems even worse.

DAMAGE INFLICTED: 66.6% totalled, not quite enough to scrap it





Copyright 2006 David C. Lovelace