Hello and welcome, coldneck. My name's Dave, and I'm a lifelong mullet.|
This special, secret, highly personal area of my site is dedicated to the long, often embarrassing life and evolutionary process of my ever-changing Golden Mullet. This assemblage of often-horrifying imagery was inspired by the single funniest site of all time, MulletsGalore.com. If you are as amused by the unfortunate topography that adorns fashionably retro (or just plain clueless) men and women everywhere, I highly suggest going there right now. For those of you who don't even know what a mullet is, it's a hairstyle otherwise known as a "shlong" (for short-and-long), meaning it's short on top and long in the back. Other terms for the mullet include the "safety cut," or the "7" (the shape of the number). But now I'm just ripping off material from MulletsGalore, so I'll just cut it short (the paragraph; never, never, the hair!).
Anyway, enjoy all the laughs you are sure to get at my expense. I have lived for the Mullet. I have driven many "rokken Camaros" and adorned lots of Oakleys, Reeboks, turtlenecks, striped pants, and God knows what else. I have drunk many of the more questionable "brown liquors," many from Milwaukee. I have lived a full life of mulletude, and so help me, I still love Queensryche and Rush (a.k.a. "butt-rock").