AND DARKNESS FELL. Then, in 1996, came the onset of my Dark Ages. And what bad timing!! Only months after I got my hair buzzed off in favor of the cheesiest office-cut I could ever acquire, I joined a Classic Rock band called "Goodhead!!!" What kind of music did we play? You guessed it. The depths of butt-rock. Van Halen. Billy Idol. GNR. How could I have found myself at the center of such an anachronism without my almighty mane helmet to protect me?? All I had was a silk party shirt draped over my prized Dream Theater T-Shirt. For New Year's '97 I played a three-minute solo in the middle of "Jump," with one of those Herbie Hancock guitar-style remote keyboards. I have seen the video once and can't bring myself to ever watch it again...

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