Car #15: November, 2014 - December, 2019
2011 Nissan Juke

THE UBER GOOBER

UPDATE 3/22/2017: So Myrtle was lost to fate (and stupidity), and I was stuck borrowing a 2000 Mercury to drive daily from Waterbury, CT to New Rochelle, NY for a job at a publishing company in late-2014. I was getting worried this car was going to fall apart at the seams. It was time to terrorize my fellow motorists with a fifteenth vehicle. Winter was coming and it was a 160-damned-mile 2-way commute, so I needed something with AWD, good mileage, and with enough room to carry a lot of music gear to an occasional gig. Myrtle convinced me that Nissans might be magical beasts, so it didn't take long to arrive at the smart decision to drive home this 3-year-old Juke. I have named him JUKEY because my creativity is dwindling in my old age. That job died and the one after that didn't last all that much longer, so for around six months in 2017, I drove for UBER, at least on occasional days. It's the right kind of car... a 4-door good in all kinds of weather conditions. Jukey has also proven to uphold the tradition for Nissan hardiness: not only was I rear-ended in a parking lot and then front-end-collided with by someone rude enough to let me drive into them at a red light, but the car underwent a complete engine replacement in the fall of 2016. How did that happen, you might wonder. Apparently there had been a timing chain recall (as well as for the door handles!) of which I was unaware, so the engine lost all compression and died right in the middle of a rough Hartford neighborhood one night. One free engine later though (a repair job which would have cost me a few thousand more than the car's worth), and Jukey's ready for action. The engine only has a few thousand miles on it, but since Uber will be having me drive the same amount of miles every day as I was traversing for the New Rochelle job, there may be plenty more opportunities for new, colorful chapters in this hell-bent history. UPDATE 8/11/2020: Oh there was indeed so very much more colorful history for this car. The Uber thing only lasted for a few months in 2017, and the car itself lasted just two and a half more years. I apparently did not learn the lesson from Car #10 not to drive too fast at night in the rain on a Friday the 13th! Just before midnight, I rolled Jukey into the supple, muddy divider on Northbound Route 91. It was exceedingly fortuitous that the puddle I hydroplaned upon happened to be in an area where there was no barrier, no signs, and no trees, or I'd very likely be dead right now. Instead, the soft landing found me upside-down but completely uninjured, cradled by my seatbelt and hanging there feeling quite put out but otherwise fine. As far as a Friday the 13th goes, it could have been much more unlucky. Incidentally, this event occurred ONLY ONE MONTH AFTER MAKING MY FINAL CAR PAYMENT. God dammit!!

DAMAGE INFLICTED: TOTALED.